A Few Friendship / Relationship Advice ;D

by - October 18, 2009

Ive heard plenty of people complain about how others play with their trust, about how people are hypocrites and don't do things that they 'preach'. Ive come across such people myself and have been left flabbergasted by their actions/words.

So how do we deal with such situations/people? Do we curl up in our blanket and cry about how we were cheated by those we considered 'friends' or do we just move on?? I very well know that moving on is far more easier said than done.

Am sure there are plenty of self help books dedicated to this topic. But no, I don't want to read any of those. I would like to come up with a solution(s) on my own. Am no Dr Phil and Ive no university degree in human psychology. But here are a few things Ive learnt in my short lifespan of 25 years: -

1. be careful and take your time
When we meet someone new with common interests, we get all excited! we think 'yaay!! finally Ive found someone who looks at things the way i do'. Yes, you will find plenty of people around you with common interests. But are they really worth our time and effort? That my friend, only time will tell. So be careful about whom you let into your life. Try not to jump into the mess headlong. Its better to commit to things unless you really want do it (we do tend to do things just for the sake of getting along). Take your own time. Try to know the person better. And Ive felt that its better not to indulge our personal secrets / experiences until we are ready to trust the person with anything. Do I need to explain why? :)

We are polite and nice to people we just met. The other person would be doing the same thing too, right? They would be at their best to charm you/impress you. You will only figure out the character of the person when you face difficult/weird/odd situations together.

2. remember - "don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option"

My sister reminded me about this quote today. She was right. Ive been giving too much attention to someone who hardly had any time for me unless when in need. Do we need such selfish beings in our life for the sake of companionship? Nope, we don't!

3. let go

We have heard this a number of times and it absolutely works. It takes a lot of courage to let go. however, if you really mean something to the person whom you let go, am sure he/she will come back.

Friendships/relationships takes time to bloom. My best friend and I went to school together for years. But we didn't become the friends we are now, in school. We became friends through the letters we wrote when we finished school and I moved to Dubai. So be patient and give your relationship time. And please don't waste your time cribbing about people who left you for no good reason, believe me - they ain't worth it!

If you have experiences/suggestions/opinions that you would like to share here, feel free! :)

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  1. Neelu,

    How beautifully written words. Even I've had many people in life whom I thought were friends. Just as you said in point number two, they wanted me only for their selfish needs.

    I'm so glad to see such a post from you. I'm tooooooooo happy that you are giving such great advices on how friendship should be taken in.

    May be we may not be able to keep in touch daily, but we do love and care of each other and our families. I can say that we will remain best friends no matter what happens in life. I'm always there my dear.....:)

  2. Hi Neelu, great thoughts here and I totally agree with you. I have often made the mistake of jumping into relationships or friendships just because i thought they were nice, but at the end it was only a one-way relationship. i love this quote not being ''an option''. sometimes you may turn, well I did, turn a blind eye to some people who treated me like an option maybe to be accepted or get along, but now I realize I should have devoted this energy to the people who stood by me when the going got tough. But what do you do when someone close to you who you trusted and spent so much time with, does not do that anymore. What do you do with people who change? This is a problem I face. Maybe you have thoughts on that.


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